Never before has a person gone from the penthouse to the outhouse so quickly. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Sameul Sosa, formerly of the Chicago Cubs. Remember when this guy was going toe to toe with Mark McGuire for the home run title? I do, it was the biggest thing in sports, 1998 if I recall correctly. Everyone in America would watch every Cubs and Cardinals game. That was an amazing summer for sports and MLB. What steroids? The thought never crossed anyone’s mind. Fastforward a few years later and Sammy’s testimony in front of Congress…”no habla ingles.” That’s “I don’t speak English” for you layman. That’s when Sosa’s attorney, a.k.a. interpreter, told Congress that he never took, touched or even saw any steroids. Must’ve lost something in translation. Fastforward to last week, where Sammy was quoted in saying that he’s looking forward to being inducted into the Hall of Fame. ARGH? Fastforward to yesterday where it leaked out that Sosa was one of the 2003 steroid users. Fastforward to sometime in the future when Sosa gets indicted for perjury. Fastforward a little more when the steroids wear off and Sosa looks like the black, sorry Dominican, Hulk Hogan. And finally, I leave you with this image, a much older Sosa sitting by the phone, waiting for a call from the Hall that’s never gonna come. I’d like to say he got what he deserved, but he wasn’t deserving of the millions of dollars he made whil conning everyone in the world.
So, Alex Rodriguez was taking steroids…surprise, surprise. Long before a certain editor of a certain sport blog began expressing his opinions, he was telling his buddies that A-Fraud’s taking steroids. NO, NO they cried, not Alex Rodriguez, the golden boy, he’s clean, he worships his body, he’s not like the others. Alas, see how the tides have turned. I’m not shocked. Frankly, look at how his body transformed. He went from this scrawny little shortstop to this buff monster masher. Do I care? Not really. Who in baseball is clean? And I don’t wanna hear what a great guy he is for coming clean. it doesn’t count when he does it after he gets caught. That’s like telling your wife your cheating after she catches you in bed with another woman. With that said, I do need to give props. Not to Alex, but to the man who was telling the truth all along. The guy who everyone laughed at and even exiled from baseball: (drumroll please) Mr. Bash Brother himself, Jose Canseco. Thanks for exposing these bitches…
Well, he hasn’t come out publicly yet to deny he ever used steroids, but he posted a video on his website stating just that. After being the highest profile name mentioned in the recent Mitchell report, Roger Clemens has put out a video which states he has never used steroids, HGH, or any performance enhancing drugs, ever! He is set to go on 60 Minutes for a future episode and I am guessing he is going to say some of the same things. Sorry Mr. Rocket if we don’t believe you. We’ve heard this before and it’s the same old song and dance. Just admit you did it and we’ll respect you more. The seven-time Cy Young Award winner was accused in the report of using steroids, an allegation made by his former trainer. I suppose in an era where everyone and their mothers are admitting to using steroids, we should believe you didn’t. You know what I believe? Screw you, your Hall of Fame numbers, and your sport! I’m taking up Curling.
And that’s why folks, they’re one of the worst and have been one of the worst franchises in Major League Baseball. The Mitchell report came out last week and named a bunch of former and present players who have taken ‘roids, HGH and other “helpful” substances. So what do the Kansas City Royals do, they reward OF Jose Guillen with a $36 million contract. The message they’re trying to send, “cheating pays.” How about “we don’t care about character.” Jose Guillen has been one of the biggest cancers in the MLB, and it’s a sad day in baseball when the bad guys win. The Royals will be Guillen’s 9th team in 11 years. Hmmmm….I wonder why? Well, Royals fans won’t have to worry about Guillen affecting their team’s performance, with a record of 69-93, you really can’t get worse.
With the disclosure of the Mitchell Report, where many steroid users and cheaters in MLB was revealed, some wrongdoers have come out and apologized. I found it interesting, though, that may of the apologies are followed by “buts” and I don’t mean rear ends. I mean excuses. What happened to the good old fashioned “I’m sorry” and that’s it. How about, I noticed everyone else doing it so I did it too to keep up.” Maybe a “I did it so I can sign for a bigger contract” No, instead we get these:
Brian Roberts: “I was curious, I only used it once.”
Andy Pettite: “I did it to help me heal from injury.”
Fernando Vina: “Help me with my injuries.”
Paul Byrd: “It was under medical supervision.”
Roger Clemens, Astros P: “I didn’t do it.” Flat out denial not the way to go.
I got a piece of advice for these guys, just admit it or shut up. By the way, anyone wonder why Sammy Sosa wasn’t on this list. Is it because it’s waaaay to obvious? I don’t know but I’m thinking there are plenty of names that are missing on this list.
Did I say that wrong? Looks like the George Mitchell Report came out on Thursday and listed those athletes who have been juicing, cheating, or using some kind of enhancing substance. Surprise, surprise. We got Roger Clemens who at age 40 is pitching better than ever. Who would’ve ever thought that? Eric Gagne and Kevin Brown who had roid rage written on their foreheads. Brian Roberts, Orioles 2b who never hit more than 5 homers quadrupled it in 1 year. The list goes on and on, with Tejada, Jiambi, Scheffield, Lo Duca, Ankiel and more. I’m not gonna write about each guy, because I’d be sitting here in the midst of a storm of fury until next Tuesday. I will say this, keep ’em out of the hall, don’t taint the goods with these cancers. Suspend them for what they’ve done in the past. Let the youngins know that it won’t be tolerated. By the way, is it just me or was this anti-climactic?
Jose Guillen was linked on Wednesday in connection with purchasing human growth hormones. Another day, another athlete exposed. For those of you who don’t know Mr. Guillen, he currently patrols the right field of the Seattle Mariners. Guillen is one of those athletes who has had the potential to become something special but for some odd reason, has bounced around 9 teams in the past 12 seasons. Actually there’s nothing odd about it, he’s an A-HOLE. Guillen has always had an attitude problem and constantly found himself in the middle of controversy. He’s fought with Angels’ coach Mike Scioscia while he was on the team and then the year after when he returned to face them in a regular season game. It’s guys like this that always wonder “why is the world after me?” I’ll tell you why, because you ask for it and you deserve it. I hope the commissioner throws the book at this jerkoffs. One less Guillen in the league won’t bother anyone. By they way, does anyone ever wonder why these idiots order HGH in their own names and have it sent somewhere that can be traced to them?
On Thursday afternoon, the hammer came down on everybody’s favorite steroid user, Barry “it’s everyone else’s fault” Bonds. The Feds have him for perjury and obstruction of justice. By the way, does everyone know that Barry’s middle name is Lamar? Well now you do. Lamar is going to have more on his mind than that home run ball with an asterisks. I hope this guy gets convicted and maximum nailed with the maximum sentence. This guys is a FAKE and a LIAR. He’s sold his B.S. to everyone and now that the Giants have cut him, they should blackball him from the league. I hope those S.F. fans that backed Bonds all these years because he was on their team turn on him. AAARRRGHHHHHH, just writing about this guy peees me off. I’m done, I’m gonna go lift some weights.
Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, co-writers of the now infamous Game of Shadows, say that current player Jose Guillen, as well as former players Matt Williams and Ismael Valdez, all bought performance enhancing drugs during their Major League Baseball careers. Fainaru-Wada and Williams base their report on business records they have access to from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center. What a surprise! More major league players slowly getting their hands caught in the cookie jar for using performance enhancing drugs. You know what I say? I say we just shut down the MLB and bring up everyone from the minors. That’s right! Screw everyone! Test every single one of them and if they refuse, they don’t play. How used and abused can one feel as a fan? This is embarrassing for not only our sport, but for our country. As a fan of the game, it sickens me to think everyday, someone else’s name is going to pop up in the media for buying steroids/hgh. Sorry guys, but I quit! I say, guilty until proven innocent. I am done with MLB until they do mandatory drug tests on every single one of these meat heads! Long live the NHL!!!
Another day, another athlete confession. This time it’s track superstar Marion Jones. These 2 photos should be synonymous with each other. I read it in “Game of Shadows” and was wondering why noone came down on her publicly. I’m not a big book reader and I’m not a fan of plugging crap, but this book is great, especially the part that names names. Victor Conte, the Clear, Barry Bonds, it has it all. I have a new idea, no more referring to these con artists as athletes. Let’s keep it simple and call them CHEATS…. Marion Jones an athlete, forget it. She’s as much of an athlete as I am a scholar. I’m calling her and her medals a fraud. Take away the medals, give them to whoever, burn’em for all I care. Just don’t let her keep it. Imagine all the people she conned; the other athletes, the Olympic officials, the fans, the talk show hosts, her endorsements… The list goes on and on. We should start a hall of shame for all these cheats who have “accomplished” great feats in life. We can place her bust right nest to Barry Bonds’ and Jason Giambis’. Stay tune for the next CHEAT to reveal himself/herself. The saga continues…
By the way, Jones is coming out with a sequel to her book “See How She Runs,” it’s called, “See How She Injects Herself With a Needle and Lies to Everyone.” They’re still working on the title.