Dallas Cowboys: America’s Team in Trouble?

Are these te real Dallas Cowboys or did they just run into the real St. Louis Rams? Another game, another loss to a subpar team.  The Dallas Cowboys are struggling.  Their starting quarterback is injured.  Their project cornerback just signed up with AA. Their owner continues his attempts in purchasing a Superbowl.  It’s just a matter of time before Mount T.O. blows.  I’ll start with Jerry Jones.  Can’t he see what Al Davis has done to his Raiders and how his meddling is affecting his team? Signing Roy Williams isn’t hurting the team but your asking for trouble gathering all these cooks in one kitchen.  I hate to say it but could the “Tony Romo is overrated” rumors actually be true?  I mean, has he really accomplished much.  Look at his post-season record.  The only guys on this team that I have respect for are running back Marion Barber and tight Jason Witten.  They go out week after week, bang, block, run and catch without a peep about carries/touches. And let me tell you, the schedule’s not getting any easier.  Of the 9 games left, 2 are against the Giants, and one each against Pittsburgh, Philly, Tampa Bay, and Washington.  Dare I say that this team is going to miss the playoffs? Get ready for a long offseason and a lot of sound bites… Oh yeah, and Wade Phillips’ job.

Fantasy Football Playoffs; Round Two

It’s all about matchups. I survived round 1, and the only reason was because I was the top seeded team playing against the eight seed. If I played any other team, I would’ve been outty. But now it’s round two, 1 win away from the money, forget about my team’s poor performance last week. Thursday night’s game had my opponent playing Jay Cutler and Brandon Marshall, who decided to tear it up. 23 points later, I’m already in the hole and looking forward to Sunday. Anxious a bit too. The good: I got Derek Anderson hosting the Bills (I need at least 3 tds from him). Randy Moss v. the Jets and Terrell Owens v. the Eagles, both at home, both should pay dividends (especially after T.O.’s quiet week 14). Ryan Grant against the Rams, I’ll take that too. Dallas Clark at the Raiders, I smell endzone. The Bad: Eli Manning at home against the ‘skins, I’m worried. This guy hasn’t played well since week 1. Fargas at home against the Colts, worried about the Colts focusing on him. X-factors: Steven Jackson and Torry Holt at home against Green Bay??? How about the Baltimore D at Miami, can they shut down or will me picking up Baltimore jinx them and give Miami their 1st win. My opponent isn’t too shabby either. Aside from the two Broncos mentioned above, he’s got Kitna and K. Jones at S.D. Housh at S.F., GB defense, Addai at Oakland and Driver and Hines. I like my players’ matchups more than his and my yahoo fantasy says my team should take it. I’m still worried as I should be but it’ll make my Sunday interesting. Worse case scenario, I play for 3rd base and my money back. I don’t want it, I want the gold, cup, ring, whatever you wanna call it. FOCUS, FOCUS.

MIA: Chicago Bears’ Defense

Have you seen this person? The Bears‘ defense seems to have disappeared. One year after leading their team to the Superbowl, the Bears defense, well SUCKS. They’re ranked 28th in yards per game, 20th in points given up per game, 27th in rushing yards allowed, and 25th in passing yards allowed. It’s a sad day in Chicago. On Thursday night, the Bears horrific defense continued as they allowed backup qb Todd Collins, Mr. I haven’t thrown a pass in 3 years or a td in 5, torched the Chicago Bears D with 2 touchdowns, no pics and 224 yards. This guy completed 15 of 20 passes. Are you kidding me? The Washington Redskins. I guess I’m more pissed because this week is the first round of playoffs for my fantasy league and I am playing the worst team in the playoffs and my Bears D got me a measly 3 points. What a bust. This team is a far cry from last years, let alone the Bears of the past. If I go out in the first round, I’m gonna be pisssssed. Now I know what Marty Schottenhiemer feels like. Hopefully my offense tears it up, let’s go Eli Manning, Derek Anderson, T.O., Moss, Steven Jackson, Holt, Ryan Grant, Fargas, Dallas Clark, and of course, the kicker Mason Crosby. Pray for me fellow readers, I need this bad. If I lose, they might hire Norv to replace me.

FANTAY FOOTBALLL: RUNNING BACK BUSTS

Did you hear the news, Shaun Alexander is coming back.  Week 13 and a top 5 pick in most fantasy drafts has decided to bless us with his presence.  Well thanks for nothing.  So I decided to write about the year of the running back, or lack of it, starting with my top pick in the draft (#2 overall):

Steven Jackson: Mr. St. Louis Rams has played 7 out of 11 games, rushing for a whopping 532 yds and 3 touchdowns.  A far cry from his preseason prediction of $2,500 total yards.  At least he’s come back to help his owners in the playoffs, at least.

Frank Gore: A year after tearing up the NFC with over 2000 yds from scrimmage, this 49er has a total of 916 yds, and 5 tds.  Gore has proven to all that he is indeed, a one-hit wonder.

Larry Johnson: Remember when Dick Vermeil called LJ a baby? Well, LJ has proven him wrong (that’s online sarcasm).  First the holdout, then the injuries, and what do we have left? 559 rushing yds and 3 tds.  Thanks for the memories.

Shaun Alexander: This guy was most experts comeback player of the year, but instead he came back to his 2006 form.  Ever since signing the big contract, Alexander has been a dud.  He’s missed the last 3 games and has 2 total td in 8 games.

This lists goes on and on, but allow me to give honorable mentions to a couple other big time flops, starting with Miami’s Ronnie Brown (injury-out for season), Tampa Bay’s Cadillac (injury-out for season), New England’s Laurence Maroney (injured and playing like it), Jets’ Thomas Jones (no tds in 11 games), Reggie Bush (Houston Texans looking smarter every day).

MANCRUSH OF THE WEEK

And the award goes to… Thanks for dressing up for the occasion L.T. You been a fantasy owner’s wet dream for the past 3 years. Each year, millions dream of having the #1 pick of the draft, only to have to setle for the LJs, Steven Jacksons and Peytons of the world. The only team to pass up on you were the Falcons and can you really blame them. With a rich history of the “dirty bird,” T.J. Duckett, and Vick type P.R. you wouldn’t make it through preseason, if you played that is. 31 tds in a year, hah! Try a QB rating of 75.7 on for size. Congrats on the inaugural “MANCRUSH of the Week” award. Enjoy it, for you too will be replaced next week (unless you tear it up against the Bears in week 1 like we expect you to do.)

Finally, a moment of silence for the changing of the guard. From the old to the new, the B.L.T. to the REAL L.T. We salute you Lawrence Taylor and that awesome earring for setting the precedence for those initials. Rest assure that your legacy will live on [insert bagpipes here]. You’re still our favorite L.T. from New York.