The Dodgers are in First! The Dodgers are in First!!!

Just when you (by you I mean me) were ready to throw in the towel,  they come storming back and next thing you know (see title). Cy Young favorite Brandon Webb of the Arizona Diamondbacks gets shelled AGAIN by the Dodgers, this time in a 7-2 loss at the Chavez Rivine.  I never thought I’d say this but the Dodgers are looking crisp, again.  Now that they got rid of the cancer in Jeff Kent, this team has gelled and put together a nice string of wins, 7 to be exact.  With Manny being Manny and Andre Ethier playing up to his potential, this team might have enough juice to be the Colorado Rockies of the 2007 World Series.  They’ll even suffer the same fate if they get that far, of course losing to my Los Angeles Angels of Aneheim. Can someone say, Freeway Traffic Jam World Series?  I have a suggestion: if both teams get to the World Series, they play rights to the city of “Los Angeles.”  Winner take all, loser leave town.

The Hawk Shot Down AGAIN

Andre Dawson, the Hawk, got shafted again for the hall of fame.  Someone please explain why. He’s played in the bigs for 21 seasons.  His numbers: 2774 hits, 438 homeruns, 314 stolen bases, 1591 RBIs. What do those numbers mean?  Well, 29th on the all-time homerun list, 28th on the RBI list. He’s one of 6 players with 300 hr and 300 steals and one of 3 players with 400 hr and 300 steals.  No offense to the dead, but how the hell does Kirby Puckett get in on the first ballot with 207 homers, 134 steals, 2304 hits??? Ambassador to baseball, that shouldn’t make a difference when it comes to the hall.  The Hall should only have to do with stats, and how you got them. So lets rally around the Hawk and vote him in.  And don’t even get me started on Albert Belle.

Down with the King

The King Jim Leyritz, a former major league baseball player, was charged with manslaughter on Friday for driving under the influence and killing another driver.  Many of you don’t remember, but Leyritz was one of the “clutchest” post season designated hitters I’ve seen. He punished the Atlanta Braves many a times, as a Padre and a Yankee.  He quietly disappeared at the end of his career.  It’s sad to see this guy’s career go down.  Another athletes, another felony, what a surprise.

Rocket On 60 Minutes

Well, he hasn’t come out publicly yet to deny he ever used steroids, but he posted a video on his website stating just that. After being the highest profile name mentioned in the recent Mitchell report, Roger Clemens has put out a video which states he has never used steroids, HGH, or any performance enhancing drugs, ever! He is set to go on 60 Minutes for a future episode and I am guessing he is going to say some of the same things. Sorry Mr. Rocket if we don’t believe you. We’ve heard this before and it’s the same old song and dance. Just admit you did it and we’ll respect you more. The seven-time Cy Young Award winner was accused in the report of using steroids, an allegation made by his former trainer. I suppose in an era where everyone and their mothers are admitting to using steroids, we should believe you didn’t. You know what I believe? Screw you, your Hall of Fame numbers, and your sport! I’m taking up Curling.

Excuses Are Like Assholes, Everyone’s Got ‘em

With the disclosure of the Mitchell Report, where many steroid users and cheaters in MLB was revealed, some wrongdoers have come out and apologized.  I found it interesting, though, that may of the apologies are followed by “buts” and I don’t mean rear ends.  I mean excuses.  What happened to the good old fashioned “I’m sorry” and that’s it.  How about, I noticed everyone else doing it so I did it too to keep up.” Maybe a “I did it so I can sign for a bigger contract”  No, instead we get these:

Brian Roberts: “I was curious, I only used it once.”

Andy Pettite: “I did it to help me heal from injury.”

Fernando Vina: “Help me with my injuries.”

Paul Byrd: “It was under medical supervision.”

Roger Clemens, Astros P: “I didn’t do it.” Flat out denial not the way to go.

I got a piece of advice for these guys, just admit it or shut up. By the way, anyone wonder why Sammy Sosa wasn’t on this list.  Is it because it’s waaaay to obvious? I don’t know but I’m thinking there are plenty of names that are missing on this list.

“Bitch”ell Report Reveals Mitches

Did I say that wrong?  Looks like the George Mitchell Report came out on Thursday and listed those athletes who have been juicing, cheating, or using some kind of enhancing substance. Surprise, surprise.  We got Roger Clemens who at age 40 is pitching better than ever. Who would’ve ever thought that? Eric Gagne and Kevin Brown who had roid rage written on their foreheads. Brian Roberts, Orioles 2b who never hit more than 5 homers quadrupled it in 1 year. The list goes on and on, with Tejada, Jiambi, Scheffield, Lo Duca, Ankiel and more.  I’m not gonna write about each guy, because I’d be sitting here in the midst of a storm of fury until next Tuesday. I will say this, keep ‘em out of the hall, don’t taint the goods with these cancers.  Suspend them for what they’ve done in the past.  Let the youngins know that it won’t be tolerated. By the way, is it just me or was this anti-climactic?

Poor Rex Grossman

Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman sprained his left knee and will probably not return this season. Such a sweet little kid with a wholesome face and all he wants to do is come back to the Chicago Bears.  How can you say no to that?… Just like this NO, F-OFF, YOU SUCK. Not that their quarterback position is the only problem, but it’s one of the main ones.  The Bears simply do not have a quarterback that can make a freakin clutch pass consistently. From Grossman, to Griese, and probably to Orton. I know they got to the Superbowl last year, but we all know Rex had nothing to do with it (unless he secretly played defense).  How does a team go from Superbowl appearance to playoff disappearance in less than 12 months.  My opinion, Grossman is not a starting quarterback in this league.  Sorry kid.  Maybe a solid back-up but NEVER, EVER a starting quarterback.  Here’s a tip, go away, invest the money that you’ve stolen from the Bears in U.S. bonds or CDs and don’t ever show your face again, especially in Chicago. While you’re at it, take that Bartman guy from Wrigley with you.

Milwaukee Brewers Are Idiots

Ok, I’m gonna stop beating around the bush, the Milwaukee Brewers franchise doesn’t know what they’re doing. One day after I ripped the Bucks for not putting some talent around Michael Redd AND after ripping Eric Gagne for sucking ass, the Brewers went and offered this guy $10 million for a 1-year contract, pending a physical exam. Are you kidding me? It’s no wonder why the Brewers haven’t done shit for years and by the looks of it, for years to come. Hey, on the bright side, at least he wasn’t signed by the Angels.

Keeping Up With The Joneses

By Dodgers’ standards, an exciting off season is getting even more exciting. After signing Joe Torre to a multi year deal as the team’s manager, Ned Colletti signs Andruw Jones to a two year, $36 million dollar contract. Is this the big bat they have sorely been missing for the last couple of years? The Dodgers sure hope so. Coming off one of his worst seasons ever, Jones hopes to bounce back to his old form. He batted .222 with 26 home runs and 94 RBIs. The 30 year old is hoping to give the Dodgers the long ball they were missing last year, along with his steady play in the outfield. Jones’ $18 million a year contract matches that of recently signed Anaheim Angel Torii Hunter, only Hunter’s was a five year deal. Not a bad chunk of change for a guy coming off one of the worst seasons of his career.

Detroit Tigers Hook the Big One

Florida Marlins‘ superstar third baseman Miguel Cabrera has been traded to the Detroit Tigers.  After weeks/months of suspense for most of the league, the Tigers acquired Cabrera for a bunch of prospects.  Oh yeah, they got the Marlins to throw in pitcher Dontrelle Willis too. I guess the Anaheim Angels or Los Angeles Angels or whatever took the winter off after signing Torii Hunter to a ridiculous contract.  I’m beginning to wonder to myself if this team is worse of than it was last year.  They let shortstop Orlando Cabrera and his bat go and now they lost to chance to compete in the powerful American League.  The Angels have always been reluctant to trade prospects for superstars which is the stupidest mentality.  I’m not saying purge the farm system.  But the window of opportunity for many of these guys is closing, i.e. Vladimir Guerrero, John Lackey.  The Angels’ lineup in the playoffs looked like a minor league team. I hope the Angels aren’t thinking about shortstop Miguel Tejada from the Orioles, as he’s on the down of his career and amongst those who have been accused of using the juice.  Then again, he might fit right in with the Angels, along with Gary Matthews, Jr. and Torii Hunter, a couple other guys past their prime. Angels’ motto, we like to overpay for overrated free agent. I’m an Angel fan and I’m pissed. GO GET JOHAN!!!