“Bitch”ell Report Reveals Mitches

Did I say that wrong?  Looks like the George Mitchell Report came out on Thursday and listed those athletes who have been juicing, cheating, or using some kind of enhancing substance. Surprise, surprise.  We got Roger Clemens who at age 40 is pitching better than ever. Who would’ve ever thought that? Eric Gagne and Kevin Brown who had roid rage written on their foreheads. Brian Roberts, Orioles 2b who never hit more than 5 homers quadrupled it in 1 year. The list goes on and on, with Tejada, Jiambi, Scheffield, Lo Duca, Ankiel and more.  I’m not gonna write about each guy, because I’d be sitting here in the midst of a storm of fury until next Tuesday. I will say this, keep ‘em out of the hall, don’t taint the goods with these cancers.  Suspend them for what they’ve done in the past.  Let the youngins know that it won’t be tolerated. By the way, is it just me or was this anti-climactic?

Keeping Up With The Joneses

By Dodgers’ standards, an exciting off season is getting even more exciting. After signing Joe Torre to a multi year deal as the team’s manager, Ned Colletti signs Andruw Jones to a two year, $36 million dollar contract. Is this the big bat they have sorely been missing for the last couple of years? The Dodgers sure hope so. Coming off one of his worst seasons ever, Jones hopes to bounce back to his old form. He batted .222 with 26 home runs and 94 RBIs. The 30 year old is hoping to give the Dodgers the long ball they were missing last year, along with his steady play in the outfield. Jones’ $18 million a year contract matches that of recently signed Anaheim Angel Torii Hunter, only Hunter’s was a five year deal. Not a bad chunk of change for a guy coming off one of the worst seasons of his career.

Going, Going, Gone…

After finishing the season as one of the best, the Los Angeles Angels go three and out to a Red Sox team that dominated them all year. David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez both homered again for Boston, as L.A. gets pounded at home in one of their worst games all year, 9-1! Tough to swallow if you are the Halos. Play well all year and have everything overshadowed by getting swept in the playoffs. They batted .192 and had only four runs in three games! Not going to cut it folks. Can someone say shorten the regular season?

As for the Boston, they are red hot. Schilling had a strong outing and if I am a major league team, I don’t think I would want to face these Sox. Ramirez and Ortiz seem like they are zoned in and the pitching staff has looked great so far. Up next…. Yankees? They survived today after falling behind 3-0 early, winning 8-4 and staying alive in the ALDS. I don’t know about you guys, but even if you are not a Yankee fan, you can’t be looking forward to a Indian-Red Sox match up. Bring on the Yankees, Red Sox, anger, hatred, high hard ones, a whole lot of animosity………. and a cold beer….

Atlanta Braves Say NO, Turn their backs on Andruw Jones

The Atlanta Braves announced that they won’t be resigning Andruw Jones next year. The nine time gold glover had his worst offensive year of his life, batting .222 with 26 hr and 94 rbi. The Braves are looking to sign 1b Mark Teixiera, who they picked up this season before the trading deadline from the Texas Rangers. I’m somewhat sad to see Jones go, as I can’t picture him in a different uniform. Jones is looking for a raise and unfortunately, something deep inside of me is telling me that he’s going to end up with pinstripes in the Bronx. Say it ain’t so Jones…

Phillies and Mets Play For It All

After 161 games, the New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies are tied for first place in the NL East. If both win on Sunday, then the Phillies will travel to the Big Apple and play the Mets for the whole enchilada. This is playoff fever folks, what baseball is all about. The greatest part of this year’s playoffs is that its up for grabs without any clear cut favorites. One final prediction: a bench clearing incident on Saturday will drive the Mets deep into the playoffs.

In A New York State Of Mind

The MLB playoffs are approaching and it seems the two teams in New York are at their usual positions. The Yankees just clinched their 13th straight appearance to the post season, while the Mets are trying to choke the playoffs away. That’s why the first five months of the baseball season mean nothing. The Mets early on were cruising to their second straight division title and seemed to be the class of the NL. While over in the Bronx, the Yankees were reeling, there was talk of firing Joe Torre, and they were 14 1/2 games behind the Red Sox. The Yankees might not win the division, but they made a race out of it, and afterwards there was champagne and tears flowing. Call me unsympathetic, but aren’t the Yankees and the Mets supposed to be there. Here are two teams with the highest payrolls in their respective leagues. It isn’t like some upstart small market team like the Royals or the Pirates making the playoffs. As usual Joe Torre was his emotional self. I guess those Dick Vermiel classes paid off. It all seems disengenuis to me, and if someone gave me a $200 million dollar payroll, I think I could manage more than a wild card birth. The Mets are in danger of not even making the playoffs with the best team money could buy in the NL. Here’s to them choking this one away. You’ll forgive me if I root for a playoff without the Mutts and the Skanks.

S.F. to Rid Bay Area of Waste

On Friday, the S.F. Giant’s announced that they will not be bringing Barry Bonds back next year. Bonds has played the role of outfielder, DH, and now the victim, claiming that the Giants knew this for a while but held it from him. Now, Bonds won’t have time to say bye to the fans but vows to return next year to continue his quest for a World Series Ring. Boohoo, too bad so sad. Any MLB team that’s thinking of bringing this guy aboard should think again. Other than ticket sales (which unfortunately is all teams care about), Bonds has nothing to offer. He comes with an ass full of needle holes and a poses a huge PR nightmare. A washed up, ego-maniac, Bonds doesn’t deserve a ring and should get blackballed from the league a.l.a. Jose Conseco. Sadly enough, I have a feeling we’ll see Bonds whining in some other clubhouse next season. Any team in need of a team mom?

Do I Hear An Ecko

Fashion designer, and I use the term lightly, Marc Ecko purchased Barry Bonds’ record breaking 756th home run ball for $750,000. Now in a shameless publicity stunt, Ecko is asking fans to vote on what he should do with the ball. Should he brand it with an asterisk? Should he give it to the Hall Of Fame? Or should he blast it into outer space? I have an idea. How about you save your 750 grand, and maybe donate it to a worthy cause. Look, I like collecting memorabilia just as much as the next guy, but I would never drop anything like the Marc Eckos and Todd McFarlanes of the world. This is getting ridiculous and it’s getting to the point where fans are mauling eachother at games in an attempt to catch the next historic piece of merchandise. So I for one don’t care what Ecko does with the ball and neither should anyone else. His clothes are weak and so is this ploy for some pub.

A Broom Of Brotherly Love

The NFL got most of the press on Sunday, but if you look a bit closer you’ll see a nice little baseball penant race going on. The Philadelphia Phillies just swept the division leading New York Mets again, for the third time this season. The win pulled the Phillies within 3 1/2 games of the struggling Mets. Can you say ownage? The Phils just seem to have the Mets number and it’s on speed dial at the moment. This is a bad time for the boys from Queens to go into a September slump. If you ask me the Mets have been doing it with smoke and mirrors the whole season anyway, beating up on a weak National League. Let’s hope we have a nice race down to the wire.

Red Sox Roll the DICE

The first of a 3-game series at Fenway is currently underway against the Yanks and the Sox have decided to go with Dice K, the unphenom from Japan. This guy shot out of the blocks, going 8-2 but then struggled and entered tonight’s game with a very average 14-12 record and 4.40 era. Is this kid going to end up like Hideo Nomo, who went from rookie of the year to bag boy at the local grocery store, Hidekie Irabu, or any other Asian wonderkid who arrived to the majors with high hopes only to disappoint after the league figures them out? Well, its end of the 6th right now and the score 7-2. K had a decent outting and is watching the rest of the game from the dugout after getting into trouble. Eventhough he only gave up 2 runs, I’m not impressed with the 5.2 innings pitched, 5 walks and 4 hits. The Sox are going to need this kid to go deeper into the game come playoff time or else it’s World Series time for the Angels. Until then, domo arigato for the win, Mr. K (barring a late Yankee comeback.)…Ummm, I didn’t even get a chance to finish this post when the Yankees dropped 6 on the, thanks to who? Hideki Okajima. Need I say more. 8-7 Yanks.